Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Monty Python's Flying Circus: Just the Words - Episode 27: Whicker's World

Monty Python's Flying Circus: Just the Words - Episode 27: Whicker's World

How To Put Your Budgie Down

ANIMATION: ends with an animated woman going into a laundromat. Cut to the interior of a laundromat. Various shabby folk sitting around. Mrs Conclusion approaches Mrs Premise and sits down.
Mrs Conclusion Hello, Mrs Premise.
Mrs Premise Hello, Mrs Conclusion.
Mrs Conclusion Busy day?
Mrs Premise Busy! I've just spent four hours burying the cat.
Mrs Conclusion Four hours to bury a cat?
Mrs Premise Yes! It wouldn't keep still, wriggling about howling its head off.
Mrs Conclusion Oh - it wasn't dead then?
Mrs Premise Well, no, no, but it's not at all a well cat so as we were going away for a fortnight's holiday, I thought I'd better bury it just to be on the safe side.
Mrs Conclusion Quite right. You don't want to come back from Sorento to a dead cat. It'd be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that's what I say.
Mrs Premise Yes.
Mrs Conclusion We're going to have our budgie put down.
Mrs Premise Really? Is it very old?
Mrs Conclusion No. We just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow.
Mrs Premise Tell me, how do they put budgies down then?
Mrs Conclusion Well it's funny you should ask that, but I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or, you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.
Mrs Premise Just there!
Mrs Conclusion Yes.
Mrs Premise Well well well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo.
Mrs Conclusion Ooh! No! You shouldn't do that - no that's dangerous. Yes, they breed in the sewers, and eventually you get evil-smelling flocks of huge soiled budgies flying out of people's lavatories infringing their personal freedom.

No comments:

Blog Archive